Monday, December 11, 2017

Weihnachts-Lebensmittel {Christmas Groceries}


This morning I rolled into the local Lidl (an Aldi-esque) grocery store with a short list :: 

• Dishwasher tabs
• Brussel sprouts
• bread 
• paper towels. 

I knew that I would, as I always do, add extra items to the cart I had dutifully unhooked from the chain of carts with a 2€ coin. Sometimes the additions are because I forgot to add something to my list, but more often it's because I could never anticipate in advance my options. Germany is so much better about rolling out fruits and vegetables in concert with the season. Even the meat departments change as grill friendly skewers are replaced with stew meats, goose and sauerbraten. I find the rotating selection and surprise encounters to be both exciting and a fun culinary challenge.

My first stop was the bakery section, where after nudging a rustic loaf of bread out from its glass case with a giant spoon like tool, I carefully transferred it to the bread slicing machine. I diligently followed the four basic steps: 
1.) place loaf inside machine 
2.) close the lid
3.) select slice width (I usually opt for 10 mm) 
4.) remove loaf after slicing 

Step #4 is the hardest ... and really ... after the serious approach to steps 1-4 they kind of leave you hanging. The expectation is that you then transfer your sliced loaf to a little metal tray arm and then slide a plastic bag around the slices and with luck have the loaf maintain its shape as you insert it in the bag. I have about a 50% success rate. This morning the still warm bread did not end up loaf shaped in the plastic bag. I did an internal Monday morning shrug, and for good measure batted at the bag to twist the top before tying it off sit-com dad style. Obviously, whoever coined the phrase "the coolest thing since sliced bread" never had to endure the disdainful look of German shoppers watching a bread slicing machine fail. "Cool" was not the first word that popped into my mind. 


Never the less, my heart was significantly lightened as I made my way to produce, where I grabbed two overpriced, and giant carbon foot printed avocados. (The Littles have developed a taste for the millennial favorite avocado toast!) In the same section I found, for a reasonable price, a fresh coconut, bio (organic) cress, persimmons, artichokes (along with the brussels I had come for!) 

My shop continued like this. 

By the time I reached the check out I had the most unlikely assortment of items in my cart ... men's underwater (the "middle section" is promo-ing organic cotton this week) and a variety of items to assemble a beautiful cheese and charcuterie board. (The diverse cheese selection included Italian Toma, English Vintage cheddar and Herder's cheese from the Alps.) Sweets included chocolate for the fondue pot, boozy grappa filled truffles and Ruby Port. In the frozen section I picked up Kangaroo streaks, crayfishy looking giant red prawns and wild venison burgers. On a whim I grabbed a Cava vinegar and was delighted to find grated truffle (the fungal variety) both of which which will surely prompt a Pinterest search. 

With all the excitement, I did remember the paper towels! And, of course mundane items :: eggs (laid locally), bananas and milk ... 

This wasn't my average shop. The extra, special items are available in the run up to Christmas when the locals seem to forget that in general they are a meat and potatoes kind of crowd. The superfluous purchases are a fun punctuation of our host culture's favorite time of year. Germany's classy approach to Christmas extends even to its budget groceries. 

(I walked out with that amalgamation for just €140 ... including the last minute knee brace I threw in for our soccer star to try.) 



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